FRAGILE

I've been meaning to write about this for over two weeks now. But as always, time has eluded me.

October has been somewhat busier than expected. And this time, it started off with a bang (literally). Two Saturdays ago, October 1st, Bronson and I took the babies to Richmond to celebrate Poppy's 91st birthday. For those of you who are not aware of who Poppy is, he's Bronson's grandfather on his mom's side. We were pretty excited!!

Just to give you a little foresight as what was to happen that day, that morning, I was dealing with the thought of losing one of our children. It's not something that I take pleasure in doing; however, Mollie had contracted yet another staph infection and I was having difficulty in understanding why we keep having these recurrences. And I thought to myself what if I lost a child due to an infection (they can be fatal). And literally the Lord spoke to my heart and said, "These children are only on loan to you while you're here on earth. They are ultimately Mine. And if I choose to take one of them, understand it's all part of a bigger picture." I then felt a peace wash over me and finished getting ready.

We were all meeting at a restaurant (the same one every year) to celebrate. And as always, we reserved the party room in the back for all of our clan. Beyond the room, french doors opened to another room that looks like it has been vacant for quite some time. And as every year, we allow the kids to run around in the room(there isn't a sign that tells us otherwise, nor are the doors locked). This year, another toddler was added (Bronson's cousin's little girl...20 months old). So instead of leaving one adult back there to man all the children (usually Uncle Reed), I decided to join in. After about 10 minutes of running around and playing games, Elise (with Preston following close behind her) tripped over a folded piece of carpet. Preston then tripped over Elise knocking the wind out of him. When I saw Elise, I knew she was fine. She was more scared than anything. But looking at Preston, he let one yell out and then looked as if he fainted. I rushed over to him and began to pick him up. It was at that time that I realized he wasn't breathing. His face was already turning white and his lips blue. His pupils had dilated the size of his iris's (absolutely NO blue was showing) and they were rolling to the back of his head.

Panic took hold and I started screaming, "He's not breathing! He's not breathing! Call 911!" I then laid him on the table while everyone started to gather around. Kim, Bronson's cousin, tried to pry his fists open as they were clamped shut. His body was lifeless. Bronson's mom swiftly came behind me and took a position on my left side and put her hands on his chest. She let me know that she couldn't feel his heart beat and she would start compressions. As she counted them, I waited, watching his little face slowly go far away from us. I exhaled into his mouth and nose. We did this for four sets until he began to breathe again. All the while, I could hear everyone praying silently. I was also calling out to my Rock and Salvation. His life didn't flash before my eyes, but instead, a life without my son. How would I continue to be a mother to my two living girls? Could I find the strength to be everything I needed to be for them?

The EMT showed up and checked his vitals. As a precaution, we went ahead and took him to the hospital for an exam. Chest x-rays and a CAT scan proved he was fine. Thank you Jesus!

Once everything settled and Bronson and I were back home with all three of our babies safe and sound in their bed, it amazed me how the Lord kept us calm and at peace. While Bronson was talking to the 911 dispatcher, he was able to say everything that was required of him clearly and thoroughly. We stared into each other's eyes several times in between me breathing into Preston. Although I knew there was some fear there, I also knew who our Healer is. Not many people know or have that peace. Even if the outcome was much more tragic, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt who my Comforter is. All things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.

It begs me to wonder, how about you? Do you have the Almighty to call on when your life is in turmoil? Are you on a direct line to the One that can give you the peace that passes all understanding? It was never about religion or the law. It's always been about a relationship with Jesus. He is the only way, the truth and the life. NO ONE can come to the Father except through Him. It is my wish that you know this kind of peace. It is my desire that you know the One that can fulfill the void in your heart. For when you are faced with trials here on earth, it's comforting to know you're not alone. Matthew 18:11.